and it was said...

Major God America looked down at all before him and thought about what he had created. Now granted, he himself was but a figment of some collectives' mind at one time, but like most figments that hang around too long, they grow from figment to tangent to cult to dogma. It's a momentum thing. And now, sitting atop of the dogma pile, he began to wonder if there was anything left to conquer, anymore momentums to build, if the human predicament could handle another feeding frenzy while bowing to him as the provider of any and all such gifts. Was this all there was? Was he becoming stale in the mouths of so many looking for a new and crisper cookie?

 

He understood backlash as his priests fought feverishly hard to preserve his superiority as the God of all things right in the world. The Cheney was one who burnt much incense and made many sacrifices... mostly of the young and impressionable. Their armies marched forth to protect their Major God America given right to consume, to deplete what the earth relinquished, the earth provided by Major God America. After all, in their minds, did he not give them the earth to use at their corporate socialist will? "Go forth and suck it dry" the new scripture--- obscene personal gain the new alter, Major God America could see an end approaching. He was created to validate and now he validates by creating. Such a self feeding entity soon can find himself running out of food and this was the dilemma now before him.

 

The old Jewish god could always fall back to smiting and earthquakes and floods as punishment for sins and the humans would delight in the blessed suffering he brought forth to them. But Major God America had a different problem as he absolved all that followed him from sin---and all followed him. It was the nonbelievers, the ones who didn't embrace the supply side of life who were the sinners and thus there were no sinners. If a god punishes for following the dogma, that god could be quickly deemed false. Major God America needed a diversion... a war against an evil beyond anti-consumerism. He needed the threat of immediate world destruction instead of the slow one he professed. He knew he could convince the humans that a slow death of depletion was a sure trip to heaven versus an immediate annihilation. No longer could he blame the Russians and Chinese and Muslims. They were now capitalists and look at Dubai for Major God America's sake. They had more money than Major God America. What he needed was an alien invasion.

 

So he began to search the outer galaxy for someone or thing to piss off until he remembered that couldn't because he was really still but a figment in the mind of someone else needing validity and thus only as great as the legend in his own mind, a mind that was never his to begin with, and then something weird happened... he died.