and it has been written...

Now, in any reality there is one constant and that being irony. For after the Major God America burned out from the worst case of cyclical redundancy ever documented, a deity imploding upon discovering the irrationality of those that created him, the aliens he went looking for as a destructive distraction actually and simultaneous to the millisecond of his bursting into oblivion, stumbled into earth's atmosphere. It wasn't quite what they had expected as upper layered particles stuck to their ship's outer skin, clogging various intakes and outputs, and made them wonder what hideous beings could exist that breathed in such toxins.

 

Upon scanning the surfaces and depths of the earth's lands and oceans, one creature stood out as the predominant organic and one as the primary mechanical: creatures called cattle and cars. It was evident this was a primitive and backward set of cultures as neither had begun the approach toward singularity (the inevitable evolution of the organic and technical) and oddly the two were even separated in that there was no real apparent symbiotic relationship between them: no communication, no cooperation other than every once in a while the cattle were transported by very large cars and a car would ever so often kill a cattle creature that ventured into its defined territory. Another creature they deemed to be a parasite seemed to attach itself indiscriminately at any moment to either life force, by feeding off the cattle and using the cars as transport after doting over them and grooming them for hours on end. This bipedal creature also had a disturbing tendency for attacking each other, causing mass extinctions of its own kind and particularly infanticide, and though there did not seem to be any evidence of recent cannibalism, it was noted the potential for that to happen if the cattle no longer permitted them to feed. Another annoyance was the creature's inability to transform its own waste. The planet had a foul funk to it that the aliens found more than unpleasantly distasteful. The aliens could not understand how the cattle and cars allowed this sub-creature to exist considering it had no real purpose other than to extract and consume whatever was before it and wondered if maybe the entire planet was not worth their time and effort.

 

As most terrestrial beings had evolved to make hyper decisions within micro seconds, that wonderment did not last long. The earth was immediately vaporized and a shorter more direct intergalactic route was instantaneously created... no more round about bypassing of the stupid little blue planet that kept getting in the way. There was one interesting byproduct from the incineration though....

 

steak.