today's hick sermon...

I've been deep within this moment before, away from the midst of calamity and chaos and only here is where the senses are afire, sparking ignitions and consuming combustive residuals. I keep going back, but there are segues to tangents and sequels to digressions around every turn and I lose my way. Everyone elses drama unfolds around me and their bottomless vortexes implode sucking in what is left of the light I need to see by and yet, I persevere. There is no end to this tunnel that I can find, or even want to look for. I'm not nearly as interested in getting there as I am just being here. Alternative motives and agendas don't work all that well. Strategies and manipulations are pretty much in place to make the most amount of people the most miserable most of the time.

 

There are no filters. If there were, they wouldn't work. Inner space needs no purification and I haven't a clue as to what outer space wants. Other people more important than me are  in control of that realm and they've got a lot more money, guns, and lawyers than I do. Nothing is more pure and void of toxin than inner space. Nothing. So many others carry the burden of waste, packing it about their shoulders: chips to be knocked off upon dare... double dogged and the such. Where do they put it all? They must just resell it to each other over and over, like mortgages or currency or something no one can really get their hands on as it moves from one digital pocketbook to the next.

 

I know I've been around a long time. Creation was a one time happening, a tick fart in the continuum when we all stepped into this room called the universe, simultaneously, and in that moment before any of us could get even a "whoa" out of our mouths, a violent ignition jettisoned pieces of our cores in all directions, propelling expansion across the expanse. We disintegrated upon contact like one of us was carrying a lit match when the door opened and in this universe, someone had let the pilot light on the stove go out. Whatever micro particles that were left after the explosion got scattered to be reassembled elsewhere at a place and time not of our choosing, probably random.. maybe. The hand of God? Maybe he was the dumb fuck that left the gas on. Maybe we might just get reassembled when the universe gets tired of expanding and decides to retract. Funny thing would be if it has done that all ready and quite a few times at that. So I don't think I'm really any older than anyone else, or any younger. This shell I'm wearing is, but I'm just borrowing it for now, and when the lease is up I'll shed this skin for another one... until the universe wants everything back to where it all started. Like I got any control of that. Besides, evolution has control of where this form is going, and if we keep forgetting to wear a condom now and then and stop poisoning the environment enough so sperms and eggs can do what they were intended to do, it just may keep on going. If not, well, I can't see something as big as the universe worrying about what happens to a bunch of stupid humans.

 

Everyone and thing around me seems to be in the same predicament. Some of us are here and some are somewhere else doing the same thing, being something else, following our destiny, or not. For all I know, I could have a three headed brother and a six-titted twelve-eyed sister in some other galaxy on some other planet fiddling with a component to some kind of contraption and I have not the slightest idea as to its purpose. We all are nothing but sparks of continual potential ignition, reving our own particular resonant frequencies, pinging off every one and thing around us, inanimate or not, all in the same rhythm. We exist for no other reason but to allow the consciousness of the universe to evolve. We are the portals of access, monkeys with consciousness on our backs, porters and bell boys toting the luggage of existence to a room with a view, and its not ours.  

 

So until this skin I'm in decides to shrivel up and blow away in the wind and I can be off and on to bigger things, I think I'm going to be content to just sit here and listen to the vibrations around and within me. They appear to be the only one's I'm privy to... until I'm not.