Note from HR:

It’s Christmas time again zombies! Because y’all are spread across most of the continental red, white, and blue as thin as Ann Coulter on a bulimic binge, we are offering you the opportunity to join us for the major pissing, sniffing, ass kissing, and brown nosing event of the year—our annual Christmas party. Of course, you will have to provide your own transportation and lodging, but if you make enough money it’s all tax deductible. If you can’t qualify for that deduction, then like why are you going? We have plenty of wait staff. So ready yourselves for political suicide or just a plain fun old night of corporate shits and giggles.

HR