Beyond the Sell

No longer enough is the art of the sell,
With margins so down and players too many.
We must force adherence at the tone of each bell,
It is customer manipulation that extracts every penny.

We under accentuate the hidden fine print,
Then after the sell we crack the whip.
Our lawyers are here for more than a stint,
Locking you in for the long haul trip.

Penalties apply and rules are to enforce,
It was your decision to sign on the line.
Free choice is up to you of course,
It’s not our fault you did not decline.

We are prepared for you to sue,
It is incorporated in our marketing ploy.
We have more money and lawyers than you,
Such hurdles are non-issues played like a toy.

So don’t come to us with grievances and upset,
Your predicament was of your own making.
We did not mislead while you placed your bet,
It’s the spoils of your naiveté that is ours for the taking.

Note from Management,

Although logic, reason, and integrity are all nice and fuzzy concepts we all like to promote via our many soapboxes, it is important for all of you to remember this is a corporation. Bean counters run this place and there is little or no room for proactive or efficient responses to anything. If we want you to drive around all day on our dollar, you will and you will smile while doing it. Democracy ends at 8AM and doesn’t pick up again until your shift is over. We are not sure even that applies. I realize you are under the concept that you live in an economical environment that honors negotiation, payment for skills and services provided, and previous agreements but you are wrong. Your ass belongs to us. There are still some nonproductive and un-American laws lurking about but thanks to Reagan and the Bush’s that will eventually change. Hang in there. It will all be better soon.

Management

Truth

Here is one for a fickle nation,
With powers inflicting wills.
Sadly lacking in coagulation,
Of that which could cure its ills.

One basic understanding,
Supported with four little premises.
No under the table demanding,
Of favors by all our nemesis’s.

To keep at bay what all marketers enjoy,
We first must never assume a thing.
Our culture believes PT Barnum’s ploy,
There is a bit of risk when bargaining.

Never take personal anything, I
t’s not always how and what about you.
Holding a grudge and never forgiving,
Lends a life led without a clue.

No matter what the circumstance,
Always try to do your best.
That doesn’t mean each time per chance,
Will be better than the rest.

With your word be impeccable,
Speaking from the heart once begun.
Elevated consciousness sometimes detectable,
The truth can keep us from coming undone.

Perceived entitlement begets the politically correct,
A persecution complex begets zealotry.
No human is expected to be flawless and perfect,
No life to be lived without poetry.

Denial

I feel the flow from head to toe,
I’m not so sure it’s all unabated.
The EKG says it all runs free,
Personally, me thinks the machine is overrated.

They poke and prod until I am porous,
They listen yet simultaneously ignore.
They contemplate before they inform us,
I wonder how many steps to the door.

The x-rays were a little undaunting,
A process with assembly line precision.
The room is dark and dank almost haunting,
And I am left totally out of the decision.


Three vials of blood and one cup of urine,
It’s good I was not left standing.
Fluids needed whether pure or full of toxin,
A hard tile floor does not make for a soft landing.

My favorite abuse is the treadmill,
And I am more than embarrassed to say.
Being able to cough up a lung at will,
After 3 minutes I was ready to call it a day.


So now for the results I sit and wait,
All I said was I just don’t feel all that good.
It’s not that I don’t feel a little old as of late,
The difference unfolds between could and should.

Playing

There are no absolutes until after the fact,
Spin it right and left if you must.
Predictions of trends and insights with tact,
Can take a life’s savings and turn it to dust.

Joseph Kennedy once said when the commoner invests,
I’ll take my money out of here.
For this is a game for only the best,
I’ll stick with making illegal beer.

These celebrities of the financial will lead us down the path,
It matters not if they pick them right or wrong.
For win or lose they get paid incurring no wrath,
And we can eat cake with a shot and a bong.

The Unrepentant

I exist self aware under false pretenses,
Strutting self-assured through hallowed halls of the credible.
I promote and hype building adequate fences,
Predatorily looking for the unexpectedly edible.

It’s less what I do but more what I say,
Impeccable in my word to the bitter end.
Image runs amok when I am at play,
Credibility over deed is what I defend.

Celebrity is my ultimate goal,
It soothes the savage judgmental.
With status comes the power to control,
Acknowledged with the emergence of the resentful.

Of course this could all come tumbling down,
Perceptions of infinity are not realistically at hand..
As long as the money stacks high in a mound,
My critics and detractors can go pound sand.

Objectivity Lost

I ran through the carpet barefoot yet assured,
It was entirely of my own decision.
Careening off tables without too much disturbed,
I grabbed for the remote with such practiced precision,
Flipping channels with ease until I found FOX television.

With such fairness and balance my choices are clear,
I pound with my fist and judge unabated.
I feel totally valid with what I want to hear.
Liberalism allowed though highly castrated.
Fairness and balance abound as anticipated.

It’s all common sense that no one can deny,
If you do it’s because you are at the least misguided.
Anything contrary must be but a lie,
Prepare foul leftists to be sternly chided,
It’s fairness and balance that keep us delighted.

Oodles of Beer

The ad man cometh once or twice,
Spewing hints of loathing and fear.
Not to worry he says as we roll the dice,
For all we really need is oodles of beer.

We can’t all be tragically hip,
And we can’t all be trendily queer.
Young and down with the nip tuck trip,
All we really need is oodles of beer.

Oodles and oodles of beer,
Oh my.
Oodles and oodles of beer.

A six-pack in means a six-pack out?
Born on dates without a bitter leer.
Nubile nymphets who protrude and pout,
Pouring labels they get paid to tout,
More than likely not a dark and frothy stout,
Just oodles and oodles of beer.

Something’s amiss goddamn it,
Contradictions begin to appear.
I’m old and my stomach bulges a bit,
Full of oodles and oodles of beer.

Oodles and oodles of beer,
Oh my.
Oodles and oodles of beer.

Say it’s not so as I did as they said,
I drank till I puked and withstood every jeer.
But now I’m bloated and damn near dead,
Drowning in oodles and oodles of beer.

Oh my.