Well, its Monday and time to put on the "I'm here for you" hat...

Note from Personnel,

“Due to the sensitive nature of information and the potential negative end result to our bottom line if anyone ever really found out how we are fucking over our customers during this merger, we would expect that any inquiries to the intent of events, specifically by any members of the local media (who also just happen to be our customers) be directed to the following 1-800 number. It is not that we don’t think you are a living breathing sentient being, but you are not worthy of position and title enough to speak for the corporation or even have an opinion for that matter. That is why we have an aristocratic ascension process within our corporate structure for those qualified to play. Also, it scares the shit out of us that you intermix with customers unsupervised. We are working on that problem with a new field employee monitoring system that should alleviate our concerns—kudos to our development team. Therefore, shut up.”